"Well, there are under fifty people here and none of them are eligible due to various reasons - age, current marital or relationship status, gender, not to mention a lack of interest - so there hasn't really been much opportunity." Ineligible by what Aunt Agatha's standards seem to be, at least. "The only person here who is single, a woman, and not significantly younger than Bertie is Mika Whitepaws, and I think she's rather thoroughly disinterested. In any case, I'm sure you'll find that he's become markedly more self-sufficient in his time away from England."

Even if he does still have trouble with basic things like making his own tea. Improvements are improvements, though.

"That does remind me, where were you prior to arriving here, anyway? And for how long? Some of the others and I are trying to establish a pattern with regards to what sort of person is taken to this place." He'd elaborate more, of course, about the interversal travel and the little god's insistence that they were giving homes to people who didn't have one anymore, but he'd like to hear an answer first. Best not to bias subjects with your own hypotheses, no matter how sound and consistent they seem to be.